letters to the editor

Have hit…training…wall. No longer want to run. Hate spin…
After weeks of successful training, I’m over it. There may be reasons for this. But at least my Brooks 5 have shipped, got confirmation email today. Hurrah! Mostly. I mean, now I have to break them in and get them ready to run 26.2 miles in like 2 weeks.

Hey, wait, what’s this. It looks to be a letter…

Dear Partyrunner:
It has been brought to my attention you have been partying like it’s 1999. There’s one thing a distance runner is taught early on – Respect the Distance.

Just curious, Partyrunner, is Respecting the Distance dancing and hanging out until 4 a.m. the night before a 15-mile planned run? Is respecting the distance going out as often as you did 8 years ago, before you began running and before you were practically 30?

No. it’s not. With just over two weeks left to taper, now is not the time to break down. You haven’t exactly followed your training schedule to the T but since you’re new to training programs and schedules and something called “discipline” I can’t be mad. But I can point out that you’ve come so far, gained speed, confidence and felt just overall good about your training that now is NOT the time to throw that all away.

From now on there’s a few things you must obey, Partyrunner, and I say this not to lecture or preach, but if I don’t call you out, who will? I’m sure you’ll agree there is wriggle room in the following commandments.

You may not go out both Friday and Saturday nights. You may pick one.

You may not yet begin giving out your phone number at costume parties and then when he calls you confuse him, the 70s disco guy, with the boy witch, thereby ensuring a rapid end to the conversation (though this turns out to be a good thing).

You may not skip any more long weekend runs or even push them from Saturday to Sunday to Monday to Wednesday. You may not do this.

You may not ever again spend a fortune in excitement on training clothes for the 2006 triathlon season when doing so leaves you too broke to buy a new pair or running shoes that you desperately need for a 2005 marathon. For then you may run into obstacles including
a. store is out of shoes and
b. stores order you the wrong pair of damn shoes.

You may not eat at 1 a.m. quesadillas, taquitos or bags of Doritos.

I say these things to you, Partyrunner, because I care. Because I want you to hit Vegas running (literally) and by golly if you can’t hit a 3:40 you sure better clear 4.

Because you’ve trained to do so.

Because you can.

So happy running, Partyrunner. Remember you are blessed to be healthy and able enough, and have the time enough, to run for pleasure. You don’t have to work 2 jobs to make it. You may run for happiness and health. So take advantage of that. Do it wisely.

Oh, and Rock Vegas.

Signed,
Anonymous