Tomorrow’s my final long distance run, an 18 miler. But instead of blogging about that, and about how jealous I am that Scott and Drew completed their final long runs of 20 miles over the weekend, I want to blog about how, if friends and family hadn’t booked their flights and hotel rooms and requested the days off of work, I’d like to cancel the marathon.
Oh I know, I don’t really want to cancel the marathon. But life would be exceedingly simpler if I could. And if it were like Vermont, where just me and my boy were headed there and I didn’t have my family, friends and bloggers to meet, I’d do just that. Oh ok, I probably wouldn’t. But it sure feels good coming home and loudly proclaiming to my boy I’d do just that.
What I thought were settled moving plans have been thrown out the window like cheap garbage. The gal I was to move in with said it wasn’t going to work out; her friend will now be moving in after an unexpected breakup. It’s just as well I suppose. She has a cat which for some reason id forgotten about until this past weekend when all of a sudden I stopped in my tracks and said, “Wait. She has a cat.” I’m allergic to cats. So now I’m supposed to move only I don’t know to where or when. Obviously, marathon weekend is not an option. So it’s off to get an extension from my landlord. I have a completely easygoing wonderful landlord so thank heavens for small favors.
And I’m not going to think about how, if I didn’t have to spend money on flight, hotel, food that I would not have to lose even a wink of sleep fretting over deposits, first months rents, bills that would no longer be shared. OK, I would still think those things, but they would be less of an issue if this marathon weren’t coming up.
Breathe.
Had a rough last few days.
Two things have been constant the last few months. One, work. I love my job, am happy going into work each day. Then yesterday it’s announced our publisher has stepped down. This likely means layoffs. We’ve been immune thus far despite seeing layoffs up and down our chain. Now I must fret about my job.
The other constant has been my running. And despite me not exactly looking forward to my 18 miler tomorrow, running continues to be the stable force in my life. Oh I know I missed a couple workouts over the weekend but that’s hardly new. And despite some strange creaks in new place (right hip? Right thigh?) that remains my one true blue. Thanks running. Thanks.
You know how life is cyclical? Life has been rich for a great period of time, full of friends, health, parties, good times, laughs. No, the breakup wasn’t rich but since we’re not separate just yet, the impact hasn’t hit. Now, I keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for it to come crashing down. Signs have already appeared. I’m not particularly superstitious. I know everything happens for a reason, the one up there’s got a plan for me, and we must experience bad to feel the good.
Still, I think im near a downward cycle. But maybe, like when you write about something good you jinx it, I’m jinxing the bad by writing about it. Ya.
I have decided, however, through all this, I’m never again in my entire life doing a marathon in Las Vegas. I received great news my dear, darling friend and her hubbie are coming in for the race but I can’t go out with them. We will do dinner Friday night but I CAN’T GO OUT WITH THEM AND MY FRIEND IS ONE OF MY GREATEST BEER DRINKING PARTNERS AND I HAVEN’T SEEN HER FOR A YEAR.
So like I said, never again Vegas. Im choosing someplace boring, like, uh, Arizona. No offense, Az. Folks. I mean, my dad’s family’s from there.
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6 comments:
Wow. Sounds like the taper hit you early. I hope things start looking up.
Hang in there. I've been having freaky pr-race thoughts too. Looking back, I think I've been on a cycle of good luck and positive happenings myself. I hope it continues, but you know you can't ever take it for granted.
I agree with your sis. I think even though it seems like the last thing you need is another distraction right now, all your cares will melt away as the landing gear on your plane folds up and you only have one thing to concentrate on - meeting all of us and your friends and family, eating good food, and running a marathon.
well, i'm with brit. i think part of it is you're starting to look beyond the marathon, which more than likely has been consuming much of your time. but now that its nearing, and you know you'll have you're life back, you're going "ACK...WTF happened to my life while i was running?!"
but i think its just the shock of having time to deal with it all.
but don't worry... we're ALL insane. its more fun that way!
the whole deal with running a marathon is what you learn on your way there. the race is just a celebration of all the hard work and life lessons.
buck up, little camper, vegas will be better than you think.
Ok, first round of drinks on me after the marathon....
Hang in there, you'll work out of this funk.
i'm flattered. both to be called insane and then to be called a little camper. ;-)
as usual, thanks guys!
i cant wait to meet RBFers, family, friends, run, etc.
and dj, ill take a beer. with a shot of tequila.
oh, ok, a little water and pom juice.
and susan, yes, you could. i think me, dj and you should do vegas next year and have a bet on who will drink first...
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