Thursday, January 24, 2008

Man, it sure sucks being dumped. But I still have Jayden.

I got dumped just over a week ago by the bad man. Funny, huh? I spent two years trying to break things off with him, convinced we were toxic together. Then I finally got sick of fighting my feelings and told him I love him, let's give this a shot.

He said no. (please come to boston. she said noooo.) He said he loved me but that he'd never be able to trust me. I am heartbroken, shattered.

But yes, he is right, and his decision the right one. That doesn't mean it hurts any less.

I look forward though, to finally getting back on my feet and doing things with the large chunks of energy that were for too long devoted to wondering, thinking, hoping, wishing, hating, crying and loving a man who didn't mesh with me. To mornings waking up with a dull, throbbing headache and an empty, scarred heart.

My friends have been great, and now's the time to jump back into running and work and hobbies (I learned to knit!). My half marathon is in April so I've got to get into training mode. The one good thing about all this is I've had no appetite for two weeks. So at least I'm entering training mode at a good weight!

And this weekend is my Irish friend's baby's first birthday! I'm going early to help her out.
That's me with my usual big dopey grin and Jayden on Christmas day. Jayden is giving the 'what' look I taught him to do. He's wearing the brown, velour BabyPhat track suit I got him. He couldn't be cuter.