My race day love affair

note: this post has been edited b/c swim distance was updated on linmark site (which i've been scanning obsessively several times a day). i actually swam the fastest leg of my mini career. oopa!

I had a new experience on Sunday. It's called "Just having fun and enjoying the experience." Lemme explain.

I'm ultra competitive. I have high expectations of myself professionally, personally, socially. Training is no different. Last year a bad race sent me into a half-day long headspin of depression. By afternoon when the two stiff bloody Marys had worn off I swore I'd never let a bad race get to me like that again.

My last two races were canceled under bad circumstances that had left a bad taste in my throat. It sucks canceling races. It sucks canceling races cause the guy you were going to do them with and you dont end up working out and you guys turn unnecessarily dark in the final days.

This race I knew was going to be different. I felt "back," as it were.

So here's the deal. This was my third sprint tri. The lack of training showed. I had the worst times of my career:

800-yd swim: 15 min (33:20/mile pace) 104/355
T1: 2:29
***12-mile bike: 58.03 (12.4/hr pace) 319/355
T2: .40
5K: 27.03 (8:44 pace) 105/355
Total: 1:43:13.

But I loved every second of waking up early, drinking my pre-race coffee, eating my bagel and banana, driving and listening to my normal hip hop top 40 stations, waiting for Kim, seeing Kim, getting the transition area set up, chatting with girls in my swim heat about the course, feeling the warm but not too warm water of beautiful Lake Nockamixon.

I loved the feeling of running into the transition area, I loved looking to the left and right of the bike course and seeing the beautiful lake and green lush trees all over the scenic course and I loved that the running trail was equally as gorgeous.

I loved the men. Seriously, I've never seen such hot, fit men in any race I've ever done.

I loved that Bill, Kim's husband who can't stand me cause he thinks i'm a bad influence (not like kimmie needs any help. haha), was waving and shouting and pointing to the direction I needed to take my bike after the swim because race days does that to people.

I look at my times and I'll be honest -- the rush I had immediately after I finished dissipated a bit when I saw them.

But it's Monday, the day after the race, and I'm weirdly thrilled with myself for doing this race. It's almost like I feel I'm coming out of a fog and this dark cloud that's been a part of my life for months, even if most of the time it's subtle, is lifting. I felt so alive on Sunday. I felt so alive and vibrant.

So this is why we do it.

ps. my love affair of sunday does not extend to the mofo bike. if i had seen one more person pass me...